Note: More to Life with Faith and Lois is designed to be heard, not read. We hope you’ll listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that won’t be on this page. Our transcripts are generated with speech recognition software and may contain errors. 

 

Lois                        

Welcome to the podcast, More to Life with Faith and Lois.

Faith                   

I’m Faith

Lois                          

And I’m Lois.

Faith                      

Our podcast explores life’s many transitions that inspire and daunt us.

Lois   

Welcome back Faith.

Faith

Good morning. How are you?

Lois   

I am doing really well. Just glad to reconnect and talk about where there is more to life, every area, that’s for sure. You know, last week we talked about codependency and it generated a lot of feedback and we are just so grateful that so many are digging in in a difficult topic like this as we work on transitions that we’re facing.

Faith

Hmm. Yes and because we’re kind of in this whole boat together called life and we think we’re so different. But the reality is we have a lot of things that we have in common and some of the topics that we’ve been talking about are all things that we have in common.

Lois   

You know, sharing is caring. I know that’s trite, but listen, we would love it if you would share a podcast with the people you know and feel free to comment on whatever platform you’re listening or if you see something come up on social media, we would love to know how these podcasts are resonating with you and which ones are resonating more. We also have a weekly newsletter at www.moretolifewithfaithandlois.com. That’s our website and Faith and I have some beautiful new pictures out there. By the way, Michele with one L. thank you so much. You can sign up and get our podcast right in your email and check us out in the process. So we are ready now for Episode 98 which is Transition: The Impact of Scarcity.

Faith 

Hmm. I bet you people get scared thinking about scarcity.

Lois   

It might send a shiver. You know what I mean? The scarcity mindset is a belief that there will never be enough. That’s right. And it could be anything. It could be products in your house, it could be money, it could be food, it could be emotions. So many things. We are so afraid that if we don’t get enough, we have to grab something and hoard it and have it ready because it changes our whole point of view. If that’s how we engage in life, that there’s not enough.

Faith 

Well, we think it’s our comfy place. It’s going to make life good. It’s gonna make life solid and secure and it doesn’t because then there’s always the next thing that can do that better. So scarcity is kind of like that vapor that you’re constantly reaching for it and it keeps disappearing or that rainbow, you go to try to find the end of that rainbow and it keeps moving on you. And that’s what scarcity is like. It’s chasing something that you can’t fully grasp.

Lois   

So Faith, how do you engage with someone who feels that they’re not worthy of success? Because sometimes scarcity kind of bleeds into what we even choose to do in life, right?

Faith

Well, when I’m working with clients, the very first thing when I hear about the fear of scarcity, of not having, I go back to the root, where did it start? When did they first feel that they would not enough, enough love, enough money, enough, whatever. And there’s a root, there’s a beginning, there’s a starting point where this happened and sometimes it’s the scarcity that the parent felt. So you learn it from them because they lived with scarcity. So you have to find where does this come from and then what needs to happen to push through it and to recover and to be set free from that false image of not having enough.

Lois   

I do meet so many people who, who don’t know where to go in this next season of life and we all have different season at different points where we’re making a transition. And some people are very afraid to take a step that might not look like what they had in the past in a previous thing. And so now that you and I Faith are working on this podcast and we’re both in our own separate careers, life coach and therapy and you know, we have to generate almost all of the business that we have. I mean that’s just what it comes down to. And I will have a lot of well-meaning folks come in and say, well how do you do this? And why don’t you go back to what you know and wouldn’t that be safer? And that might all be true, but it’s definitely this idea of scarcity. Like, well what would happen if this could open up and this might flourish and it might. But there is a fear that many people have of going out and stepping out on their own. And the last thing we’d want to say is go step out on your own. You know, drop everything you’ve got. But there is a time sometimes in your life where you realize this is a fork I want to take in the road and I want to see where it leads and what can open up. And so I feel like I’ve been given a lot of tools as we’re working through all of this, and I’m, I’m feeling like I’m being blessed in many ways too because my mind is expanding and I’m growing so much and I never would have done it if I had believed that I could only do X because that’s all I’d ever done.

Faith 

And everything you’ve done is preparatory for what’s ever coming next. And that’s an always an opportunity of, wow, this is a gift.

Lois   

That’s right. You know, you may have heard some of these sayings before, I can’t seem to get ahead. I’m destined to be poor.

Faith

Oh, that’s so sad. So sad.

Lois   

And you do hear it from people, you know, when you’re talking about, well, let’s think of this. Oh, I can’t do that. I know I could never make it work like that. And they have already decided they’ve actually done whatever one of our previous podcasts suggested, which is they’ve already given themselves a labeled that I can’t be there. Right. But that is the scarcity mindset that there’s no chance. So I won’t even look at that. Right.

Faith 

And they’re usually looking at someone else who has done it and they can’t relate to what they’ve done. And when somebody says, I’m going, but how would you do it? Because it would be different. And so where does your passion lie? Where’s your interests lie? That’s where you need to go. It’s not copying what someone else has done. It’s discovering what you can do well, and then living from that place and doing it your way.

Lois   

You know? Uh, one of the other phrases I hear a lot of is there’s never enough time. I will never get what I need to have done done because there’s never enough time. It’s like the scarcity of time, folks. There is so much opportunity if you take it, and we can laugh at it now, but there are times when we start thinking small, then there’s never enough money. There’s never enough. Right people, there’s never enough time. Nothing Faith. Right?

Faith

Yeah. There’s limitations to everything if we put limitations on it, right? So we’re the ones limiting the possibility of what, or like you said, time or anything else that we do in life. We have to make it. We have to decide. And that’s kind of letting life just happen to you or whether do you, are you are participant in life to be a partner in life, to make life work for you well.

Lois   

It’s all part of waking up, isn’t it? Yes it is. And just saying, this is, this is where I want to be. Right? So one of the things, the scarcity mindset repeats all the time is there is never enough.

Faith

Well, right there. It’s a global statement. Never really. Not about never. Because here today gone tomorrow or gun today and flourish tomorrow, you know, so we don’t know always how life is going to be. We are anticipating that life is going to be dark or heavy or weighted or a loss. We don’t get to get, that’s a big thing we don’t get to get. The reality is, yes we do. Yes we do. Yeah. But you have to decide what it is you want. Yeah.

Lois   

And the saddest part when people make that decision is that these, you’ll notice they start clinging to what they have because they are so afraid that they’re not going to be able to get more. They just say, okay, then I’ve got to protect. I have to hoard, I have to. No one gets to be around me. And this includes your possessions, it includes your time, it includes people. Yes. And that’s where you can get this mentality of scarcity that surrounds you and it’s really difficult to watch.

Faith  

Yeah. It can be anything. I mean, whatever it is that lures you with that you think is going to offer you something really grand to make your life better is where you’re going to find scarcity because you’re clinging to something that has nothing to do with what’s inside of you.

Lois   

So we are so grateful to Lynne Twist and Lynn outlines the three myths of scarcity in her book, The Soul of Money. They are, there’s not enough. More is better. And that’s the way it’s supposed to be. And we’re going to unpack every one of these statements. You know, faith it is. People are saying there’s just not enough, there’s not enough anything.

Faith

But there is no look around us. I mean, Oh my goodness, we live in a country. But I mean for those of you who who are listening in Australia, you’re also blessed and, and but think of the third world countries. I mean we live in, even if you have a house that’s only, you know, a thousand square feet or in a condo or an apartment, you have more than most of the world. And we never think we do. We have to weigh that, that what we have is so much the what is enough? That’s a good question. What is enough? I had one, I was working with a client one time and I said, what is enough for you and why? I’d like to have 5 million in the bank. Well, if you had 5 million in the bank, would that be enough? Thought about it for awhile. Well maybe 10 million. Wow. Okay. What makes that difference? You know? And it’s like that’s, that’s the point is like when when you have it and you think about it, it’s always going to have to be, yeah, but I wasn’t calculating this. And then you want more. And so you get in this treadmill of it’s not enough.

Lois   

And that leads right into the more is better mantra, which is also a myth. And it also becomes the response to the fear of not having enough. And that’s when you exactly point out, you’ll just keep wanting more cause it won’t add up. So there is this great research from Harvard Business School Professor Michael Norton and he asked 2000 millionaires, two questions. Number one was how happy are you on a scale of one to 10 and how much more money would it take you to get to a 10? Well it turns out that all the way across the income spectrum, practically everyone said they would need two or three times as much to be perfectly happy. So the amount will always grow exponentially because it gets back to there’s not enough. And if you think that more is going to be the answer, that won’t be enough either and we just, it’s so sad because you can make this mistake everywhere. It’s not just in terms of money or how much you have. You might be worried that you’re going to get left out of something, a job position and then then you’re just, you’re hunkering down and you’re not giving everything you can because all you’re doing is trying to protect yourself and then more is not better. Then you get the promotion. It’s like, well, I should have had that promotion over there and I should be making three times what I’m making. It’s very sad.

Faith

It is very sad. That whole thing that like if you can have the abundance somehow abundance is the answer and it’s not. That’s why I keep reiterating. You’ve got to get back to the root. Where is this coming from? What’s missing inside and it’s usually the belief that if I have more I won’t be lonely. If I have more, I’ll be more respected. If I have more, I’ll be seen and appreciated and valued. There’s a bigger issue underneath and we need to find out what that is because otherwise you’re going to be on that treadmill of I have to have more.

Lois   

And if you’re on that treadmill, one of the third myths you’re going to come up with is, well, that’s the way it’s supposed to be. And so then you see people who are just resigned to this life that they don’t want. I mean, you, you, you just, you know, I’m just gonna stay right here, right? I’m not going to ever move. I’m going to, you know, live the way I’m going to look. And my lot in life, they’re, they’re stuck. They’re stuck. But they’re not just stuck. They’re stuck and angry because it’s their lot in life. And this might be the very toughest myth to let go, right? Because if you drive yourself in this thing of there’s not enough, and the more I have it, I don’t feel any better than, you know what, this is just where I am. So laziness can creep in. This idea that I just have to conform to what I’m doing. I will never be able to go outside of this little space. So you don’t take any risks because you’re too afraid that, Oh my goodness, you might lose everything, which is a complete myth.

Faith

I know. And even if you did lose everything, life doesn’t stop. I mean, the fear is if I lose everything, then my life is over. No, it’s not. Lots of people have lost everything and then they built it back up again or they go another pathway and they find something even better. It can be an opportunity for change. Yeah, the all or nothing devastating thing that if I do not have, I failed to exist.

Lois   

And you know, for some of us we’ve worked on this and faith. What is it about you that does not allow this scarcity mindset to take hold? Even if at times it might start creeping and scratching on your neck?

Faith

Because I’ve worked really hard. I worked really hard. Knowing who I am and knowing the meaning of life for me and for living out of the integrity towards myself and towards others, that life has so much meaning and it is a privilege. And a gift to exist. And when you see that, then you want to start living from a different perspective, not about what you have but what you can offer. And what you can offer to yourself as well as to those around you.

Lois   

And we want to talk about that different perspective in just a moment. But first we would like to share with you more about our sponsor for our podcast, which is Affordable Aesthetics. And we’d like to introduce you to Anna Twerksoi who is an expert in skincare and she is passionate about helping people like you look and feel their very best.

Faith

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Lois   

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Faith

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Lois   

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Faith

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Lois   

So we are on Episode 98 Transition the Impact of Scarcity. So if you’re ready to overcome this scarcity mentality, we have a couple of ideas and we want to thank Grayson Bell from www.debtroundup.com and he says one of the first things you can look at is your language of what you just normally say and this is a really interesting shift. Instead of saying something like, I can’t afford it, you could say, I have other priorities right now. I mean just that little shift takes a huge load off of who’s receiving that information and how you feel about the decision not to purchase an item.

Faith

That is so good. Yeah. We’ve talked about language in the past, how it can have a negative or a positive effect on us and in this area especially, it can really be a negative impact on our lives if we keep talking in the negative around scarcity.

Lois   

And think about that. When you, when something comes up and there’s something you want to do, think of how you word that. Is it in a negative tone or it’s that you want to do something else or wait for something else or look at another Avenue? I mean those kinds of things might start shifting what’s going on internally.

Faith

Another good one was to release some of your stuff, so good to do and time to clean and it’s fall and into winter. You have an opportunity to go through closets, get rid of clothes, items that you have hoarded, things that you haven’t used in forever and give them to Goodwill. Give them to someplace that they could be used they could be actually put to good use rather than sitting in your closet or in storage and that type of thing. Giving things away, releases you makes room for something better to come in as well.

Lois   

That’s so beautiful and it gives you this sense of I’m in a different place. I’m in a place where I can release. Right and look at that. It’s that open arms instead of clutching everything you have that hasn’t been used in way too long.

Faith

Exactly and avoid comparisons as well. You know, when you stop comparing yourself to others, that’s the whole, you know, more like the Joneses syndrome. You get stuck in that because if you have to have what other people have or you have to have more than what they have so that you can feel good about yourself, then there’s something missing within. And that’s that treadmill thing that you’re just on this scarcity walk all the time. So keep looking at the things that matter to you that have meaning to you. Build on those and don’t compare yourself to other people.

Lois   

I know you’ll always come up short.

Faith

I know there’s always going to be somebody better and prettier and smarter and the uniqueness of you is amazing. And when you can look in the mirror and see that you’re in a good place.

Lois   

And, and one of the final things he offers, which I think is a great twist on all of this, is be happy for others. You know, there is this, this thing that happens when we get scarcity mentality, things bogging our brain. That is that we cannot enjoy anyone else’s success because you know what, they took mine away. Even if it has nothing to do with you, you can read something or look at a Facebook post, you can be jealous of what somebody else has and it turns everything that could be a joyful celebration with that person too. Uh, well, arms crossed here. You know what I’m going to say? Why didn’t, why didn’t that happen to me? Right? Why did they get it? And so, but if we can turn that and be happy for someone else, it’s a generous-ness that starts coming out of us. And again, we’re loosening that grip. And I think so much of scarcity, it’s all about closing in. And when we start opening up and being happy for what somebody else gets, that’s just a nice switch up. Absolutely. I never even thought about that until I read this from Grayson Bell that that is actually one of the tools that takes me when it scratches on me because of my background. Scarcity mindset hadn’t been huge, but there are moments when it does inflict me and I notice when I’m not being generous to other people with my words. That’s it for me. Yeah. I’m not going to let you feel good about that because I really thought it should have come to me.

Faith

It’s one of those times where you’re thinking about the other person instead of just yourself and we are not in this world just to be thinking about ourselves, about what we have and how we’re impacted. We should be thinking about others and what they feel and what they need and how they’re impacted, and that’s the counterbalance to scarcity because now there’s an abundance. There can be an abundance for you and abundance for other people.

Lois   

You know? It’s so cool when you start focusing on what matters most, whether it’s in your life or in the lives of the people you encounter in your household, in your workplace, it suddenly appears that there’s plenty to go around. You know, somehow the meal you prepared. There really is enough at work. There really is enough accolades to go around. I mean there are times we don’t get exactly what we want, but the more we release having to get it a certain way, the more we can understand that there is plenty.

Faith

Isn’t that nice to know? Releasing how you view your never enough circumstances can pave the way for the possibility and freedom that you have been longing for.

Lois   

You have a choice in how you act and what you do with whatever comes your way. You have enough and you are enough.

Faith 

We’d love it if you would share this podcast with a friend.

Lois   

And join us next week for Transition: The impact of your upcoming holidays.

Faith

Get the latest news on our social media platforms and on our website, and please subscribe.

Lois   

More to Life with Faith and Lois is a podcast to support, encourage and uplift you.

Faith

As you transition through all sorts of change. We want you to know there is more to life.

Lois   

We’ll be back next week.