Note: More to Life with Faith and Lois is designed to be heard, not read. We hope you’ll listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that won’t be on this page. Our transcripts are generated with speech recognition software and may contain errors. 

 

Lois                        

Welcome to the podcast, More to Life with Faith and Lois.

Faith                   

I’m Faith

Lois                          

And I’m Lois.

Faith                      

Our podcast explores life’s many transitions that inspire and daunt us.

Lois                       

Great to be with you, Faith.

Faith

It’s always good to be with you. Lois

Lois                         

It’s so fun to jump and dive into our podcast every single week.

Faith                    

We have fun.

Lois                        

You know, we’ve been working through transitions for the past nine months and I don’t know why Faith, but I decided to look back on some of the topics that we’ve explored. Relocation, new life, death, rage versus civility, alienation, aging and affair, silence, vacation, sexuality.

Faith                     

We’ve done a lot.

Lois                       

We really have and they’re like all over the spectrum. I know. So by the way, if you missed any of those, please go to our website, www.moretolifewithfaithandloiscom. You can find all of those. And listen, we even have transcripts that are on the website, if you want to just follow through. And if not, go to one of your favorite podcast apps and find those because they’re on there as well and you know, share them. Maybe you’ll listen to one and go, oh, someone could really benefit from this. Or maybe I can listen to this together with somebody else. We would, we would love that. We also have a newsletter while you’re on our website, sign up for that if you want to. So last week we dug into self-awareness and we asked if you had something you’d consider changing up even for a day. So anything that came up for you, Faith?

Faith                     

I’ve actually been changing quite a few things of spending more specific time, especially in the evening before I go to bed of transitioning out of kind of the intensity of the day or the complexities of the day, the things that have happened and just spending time listening to music and to quiet and to reflect. And sometimes I’ll journal and sometimes it’s just more meditative thought in my mind and reflection. And it’s made a huge difference in my sleep. It’s made a difference in how I deal in the next morning as to how my day’s going to play out. So it’s made a difference.

Lois                       

You know what’s so interesting when it relates to self-awareness is in the last few weeks my husband and I are celebrating birthdays back to back. We’re both turning 60 this year and we thought somebody said, what are you doing that’s significant for your birthdays and what are you going, how are you going to celebrate? And for us, the way that we have learned this year has been this gift of knowledge. And we started with the Richard Rohr conference. I’ve just now signed up for a class on wisdom from somebody from that coalition. And I just feel like there’s this place where we’re both growing and spreading out, like letting the water settle. And he and I are doing it together and that’s a gift that we’re giving each other as a result of being more self-aware. So I don’t know how you all gift yourselves, but that’s what we’re doing right now .

Faith                   

That’s wonderful. That’s wonderful.

Lois                       

And we are really enthusiastic to approach our today because we’re right on schedule, right? With episode 88 Transition: the Impact of Routine. It does feel like a schedule, doesn’t it?

Faith                    

And my initial reaction to routine is double fold. It’s uh twofold. And it happens to be one resistance them because that old word routine men to be disciplined meant to be put in a box and meant to be. You had to conform, you had to do with the way somebody wanted you to do it, and so there’s still some threads of that that pop up for me, but I’m routine more for me today is about doing what lays out a pattern for my life or my day, that will work well for me. And so if I can place that pattern out and go, this is my day and how I’m going to step into it, that becomes a routine that I can actually embrace.

Lois                      

I think routine, I never realized how much routine frees me to do what I really want to do and I hadn’t thought of it that if I accomplish these other things that I know are important and are beneficial, then I’m open to be able to do other things. And I’ve shared on more than one occasion, and bear with me, I’m so sorry if you get bored, but it’s just the way it goes because my routine is very specific every morning. And it’s funny cause when I go away on a break, if, uh, people have dogs in the household we’re visiting, I will volunteer to walk the dogs because that’s how we wake up every morning, my husband and I. We make the coffee, we walk the dogs, we sit down and we have breakfast together. We read a Richard Rohr contemplation. We, that’s just how we set the tone for the day. But I find that with this routine in the morning, that so specific with how we even prepare the coffee, it gets me ready for the rest of the day with an energy. And not just from the coffee, but an energy that’s there because I’ve cared about those elements that came before.

Faith                   

Yeah. You’re setting, you’re setting a really strong, beautiful, life-giving pattern for your day. It’s life giving to you, to the dogs and to your interaction with your husband. That’s just what a beautiful way to start the day.

Lois                      

You know, I’ve always known that for children routine is really important and I think I always kind of placed it like, well, as a parent, when my children were small, it was really important for them to have routines. And I moved away from that for a number of years. And it’s really funny that I’ve realized now how routine has helped me solidify not just my days, but my goals and how we interact. Because if I have a routine that I can accomplish certain things before I move to the next and it’s really, really helpful. That’s wonderful. So in the time we have together, we are going to hope to inspire you to reconsider the place that routine has in your life. If it’s already there, it’s gonna validate what you’re already doing. Maybe giving you some more ideas on what it does and if you don’t have a particular routine, that’s okay too. Maybe from to some of the things we’re going to offer. It might be interesting to you instead of scaring you away yet.

Faith                   

Don’t be frightened. It’s really okay. This is the interesting thing. Even if you don’t have a routine, you have a routine that’s your routine. That is your routine. Your routine is to just let things happen and and go with the flow and that can work beautifully. If you’re a creative person. Oftentimes creatives have to do that, but it’s also advantageous when there are specific things to get done, not to let them slip away and so the routine can at least bring in on a given day. You know what? I really do need to answer that email or I really do need to make a bank deposit. Those are the kinds of things that routine helps bring order and a timeframe of when some things will be done.

Lois                        

You’re so right about that because if you’re creative, we feel like it’s a box. But if you look at successful people who also are creative, one of the things they’ll tell you is they have something that’s routine-like. Now they may not call it routine, but as you just so aptly said, everybody has this routine whether they want to call it that or not. So we are trying to celebrate the fact that sometimes this is something that will inspire your life versus make you feel like you’re in chains and you have to do something the same every day. So here are a few benefits we’ve found by scouring so many resources for you. And of course this is kind of maybe seems obvious, but routines actually improve your time management. They do. I mean it just makes sense, right?

Faith                    

Yeah, yeah. Otherwise you’re looking at the clock and going, where did those four hours ago, if you haven’t really kind of scheduled a few things in there because time does slip by very quickly. But if you have that routine, you actually will find, I have time to spare.

Lois                      

Well, I mean, what’s important to you? For some people, exercise has to be a part of their daily life. It’s in the morning, it’s in the mid day, it’s in the evening. I don’t know when you fit that in, but it has to be there. That’s not a negative at all. That’s something that enriches certain people’s lives. Other people have piano practice or you know, we went to see Joe Bonamassa the other day. I mean, if this man doesn’t practice his electric guitar or Acoustic Guitar, he can play anything, but there is no way he could perform like that. So that becomes a routine. You can call it a discipline of practice, however you want to look at it, but it certainly improves time management. If you put aside, set aside a period of time to be able to do that.

Faith                    

And what you just described as what’s really important. And when you do that, then that is if it’s work, if it’s your family, whatever it happens to be, that’s really important. But then you need to have some time management, some routine that can fit around that so that the rest of your life can blend with that.

Lois                      

And you have a great suggestion with that. When you write three most important thing on sticky notes and then when you’re finished with that, bring up another one. I mean you don’t have to. If you finish those three, awesome. Yeah, there might be another one, right? Or it might be time for a nap.

Faith                 

If nap is in your routine, take it.

Lois                       

One of the other things routines do is that they improve your focus and I love this because I’m more and more convinced that what I focus on is what I’m going to be doing. That’s really true. Whatever it is, that’s really true. If I say I really want to get to this goal, but my focus is to binge watch more Grantchester, my focus will be what I watch and that’s okay, but just admit it, admit, own it, own it, claim it. I’m doing that, but if routine for me improves my focus because if I set aside time and I say, this is when I’m doing this in this order or at this part of the day or this day of the week, whatever it looks like, then because my focus is there, I will actually get it accomplished.

Faith                

That’s so true. I mean it’s, it’s that focus point and that we go, I really want to move towards that, that we get there. It’s when it’s hidden somewhere, not on the docket somewhere that we forget about it.

Lois                        

Well, it’s those distractions that come up and so if we haven’t prioritized and told ourselves and the world you know about what our time frame is, then we will be easily distracted. We’ve done a whole podcast on distractions by the way, and faith you had this very good piece about your calendar, how you would like notify people if you’re going to be in a certain space or you weren’t going to be available. It’s not that you can’t call me, but I won’t be available at this time. And that’s, that’s how you let people know that your focus is going to be someplace else. In that moment.

Faith                  

We’re talking about healthy boundaries. It’s like what do you need to accomplish? What is your agenda? Sometimes that’s the key thing we give ourselves away. We give our day away, we give our time away, all too freely and then we should, we should be sharing it with people and we should be sharing it with the unexpected events in our life. But if it becomes a habitual where we’re giving our time away, well where’s that time for you and to accomplish those focus things that you want to get done?

Lois                       

Remember what you focus on is what you achieve. I love that one. So, um, routine also creates structure in our lives. And you know, for those of us who need some kind of boundary, like you just mentioned, Faith, I think that’s really important. Because if you’re independently working it is more difficult sometimes to build that structure in because it is hard when there’s a knock at the door.

Faith                

Without a doubt. And for some people, structure comes so naturally. Like my husband, he is so structured and he’s not rigid about it. He’s fluid and flexible, but he is very structured. His day, I can set my clock to everything that he does. That’s how much his routine is there. But that helps him accomplish the things that he needs to accomplish because he’s got a lot of things that are important to him. Reading and studying and learning more Spanish and brain training and he has a variety of things he does every single day and they’re important to him. And that’s a good thing. Me, I’m not as structured, but I still have good boundaries about saying no, this will not work for me right at the moment. So whatever your style is, it doesn’t mean you conform to a different style. It means how do you work within the parameters of who you are.

Lois                     

I love that because it’s challenging us all to look at how we function the best and we all need some sort of structure. There is no doubt about that, but it looks different. It looks different and it’s okay and somebody can go with, we’ve talked about this before and there’s certain kinds of calendars and others of us have sticky notes, others use our phones. Some of us use all of the above cause I lose my place if I don’t have it written down several places. So, um, just remember we are talking about routine. We’re in Episode 88 and our podcast today is sponsored by A Stepping Stone.

Faith                    

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Lois                       

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Faith                   

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Lois                        

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Faith                 

They’re open from nine to five and weekend and after hours by appointment. Call them right now at 303-942-0512.

Lois                       

Or go online and check out all their services at www.steppingstonenow.com. Discover how you can start this life changing process today. So we continue in Episode 88 Transition. The impact of routines and routines help us prioritize. And you mentioned that earlier because what we do is really what’s the most important to us.

Faith                 

We have to have priority of the events of our day or our week or our month. And if we are super busy, we look out even into the second and third month because if we don’t prioritize, then we have these collision courses that happen and things bump into each other. So for me, that whole thing of prioritizing is putting into order. One, I scan myself what, where am I at, what do I need to do? And if I look at my schedule a day and it’s really packed, then I know I don’t want to add a whole lot more. And I really am a stickler for that. So if a call comes in and says, Hey, can you and I look at my schedule and I go, no, I really can’t. Not today. And don’t say yes to things just because you get a call, prioritize. Where are you at? How’s this day going to work for you? We tend to overdo and we think that’s the norm. It’s not the norm.

Lois                      

It’s not, Faith. You hit on something so important when we’re talking about routine, the last thing we want you to think is that we’re saying add all this stuff to your life. In many cases, the best thing we can do for ourselves is to remove things from our life that aren’t serving and that aren’t building up and that aren’t in, you know, all those kinds, all of the above. But think about that as you prioritize what’s most important. Are you focusing on those really large things that mean so much to you? Or are you just dealing with the little sandy bits at the bottom and then you never get to what’s really important?

Faith

And it is important to put yourself in there and that not to prioritize every everybody else prioritize yourself because then there’ll be so much more of you to give out.

Lois                       

Routine also builds momentum because we find that when we start doing a few things over and over again, habitually, it just becomes part of our life.

Faith                  

I know, and it’s a good part of our life, right? It’s no longer that routine negative of I’m being forced. It becomes more about a flow. It becomes a part of you and you see the good results of it. So yes, absolutely.

Lois                       

And I know that routines, when we talk about adding things in momentum, they can be good things and bad things. Just remember habits form by repetition. So very quickly.

Faith

And then the routine that reduces stress. Oh, and this is absolutely true because if you know you get it done. I love that feeling. I finally see something on my routine that I need to do and then I will go, okay, I really don’t want to do this, but I’ll do it. And then I do it and it’s not so bad and then it gets done and I’m going, it’s done. Yay. I feel so much better.

Lois                         

You know, it gives us something over which we have control. Many times. The thing that blooms so large is that I have no control. That if I have some kind of framework that I’ve put this in, then it reduces my stress. Because like you said, when you finish something, you can breathe and it no longer has power over me because I’ve dealt with it. So that helps your stress. Absolutely. Absolutely. Please use routine to reduce your stress.

Faith                    

And routines keep track of our progress for that example. It’s like I have my checklist and I went to the post office, I went to the bank, I went to the grocery store, I got these things, I made those phone calls. I, um, it’s a checklist, a mental checklist for me that I’m checking off. And I see that list getting and shorter and shorter and it’s such a reward. There’s progression in where routine can take you. Whereas if you don’t have it, sometimes you wake up the next day and go, I have so much to do. And that’s what happens.

Lois                        

That’s so true and I love, I love that it’s progress. So this is positive. You’ve gone forward, you’ve, you don’t have this big thing weighing on you. And if you do, by the way, cause it happens to all of us, it probably will happen to me today. There will be something that doesn’t get done, but I can do it tomorrow. Right? I can wake up and figure out a way to get that done right? And then I can make progress. Even then.

Faith                     

The world doesn’t end if you didn’t do it.

Lois                       

So is there something in your daily life that might be missing that by adding it you might find more peace or joy or arrive at a goal you’re longing for or removing to have more joy? We’d like to think of one thing that you might want to add or remove from your life that might help you in your daily routine.

Faith                     

That’d be great, and we’ll share that next week for ourselves.

Lois                       

That will be really exciting. We hope that routine has taken on a different tone for you this week.

Faith                   

The beauty about a routine that’s yours is that you can follow it daily, every other day or weekdays or just this month.

Lois                       

We all have different goals and resources and needs, so setting up daily habits that offers the option to achieve a goal is very powerful.

Faith                    

Consider a shift in your routine that would help you breathe better and please share it on any of our social media.

Lois                      

And join us next week for Transition: the Impact of News Media.

Faith                  

Get the latest news on our social media platforms and on our website, and please subscribe.

Lois                       

More to Life with Faith and Lois is a podcast to support, encourage and uplift you.

Faith                  

As you transition through all sorts of change, we want you to know there is more to life.

Lois                       

We’ll be back next week.