Note: More to Life with Faith and Lois is designed to be heard, not read. We hope you’ll listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that won’t be on this page. Our transcripts are generated with speech recognition software and may contain errors. 

Lois

Welcome to the podcast More to Life with Faith and Lois,.

Faith

I’m Faith.

Lois

And I’m Lois.

Faith

Our podcast explores life’s many transitions that inspire and daunt us.

Lois

Hi Faith. This is a landmark podcast.

Faith

I can’t believe it. I just really cannot believe it.

Lois

One hundred!

Faith

Yay.

Lois

We just thought we’d let you know. We have been doing this since January of 2018 and week after week. We have been with you. Thank you. Thank you so much for all of you who have participated, encouraged and kicked us along the way. And we have reached number 100.

Faith

Whoa. It’s incredible and it doesn’t even seem possible because I’ve enjoyed everyone.

Lois

So have I thank you Faith. And every week we’ve been exploring what it means to know that you’re not alone and that there is more to life, which is the core of everything. Faith and I are up to and this year our focus has been on the transitions that you might be facing or have faced and if you haven’t had the chance to listen to our archive, maybe this is the season to binge, just throwing it out there for you. You can check back on all sorts of places where you may resonate with one or two or 99 other transitions and share this with a friend if you’d like to cause this would be really cool. Maybe you’ll find one that would be great.

Faith

I totally support that because there’s always a nugget I think in everything that we’ve ever shared that can impact anyone.

Lois

And maybe you’ve waited till number 100 to go online and sign up on our website, which you can do at www.moretolifewithfaithandlois.com. And if you sign up with us, we will send you our podcast right to your email every single week. So on this very momentous day, we are really pleased to bring to you Episode 100 Transition the Impact of Living with integrity.

Faith

I love the word integrity. There’s such a beautiful sound to it and the meaning behind integrity is just so rich and has such a purpose and a direction for our lives.

Lois

It does. You know the literal definition of integrity means having wholeness of character. It’s like the word integer, which is part of integrity, a whole number with no fractions. So think of seeing yourself as whole, which you are, but being reminded that you’re whole and how do you step into and live with integrity?

Faith

Because we can so quickly forget that we’re a whole and complete person. And for me integrity looks like for me is that pure character of who I really am. And discovering and continuing to discover the elements of who I am. And I oftentimes I use this with my clients and we’ve done it in some of the workshops that we’ve done is that, uh, one of the ways you can find out about where your is is imagine yourself, you’ve passed and you’re at your funeral. Then you’re sitting in the way in the back for your funeral celebration and people get up and start talking about you. What do you want them to say? What do you want them to say about you and who you are? That’s integrity because you really do want them to say nice things, right? Well, if you want that then start living it.

Lois

Wow, that’s a nice a challenge for all of us right now. It’s a beautiful, that is just great because that is so true and it’s not really a challenge. It’s kind of a, it’s a commission. It’s like, go for it. It really can go there and get there and if that’s what you want, then you’ve got a life ahead of me. Let’s, let’s do this together. You know? Because integrity, for me, I used to always split myself up. I was always so busy doing so many things that I really showed up to different events as a different person and I may not like dressed differently, but I acted differently and I often would find myself and catch myself saying, is this the whole Lois? Is this the real me? And as I’ve gotten more seasoned in life, I’ve started to realize how important it is to carry myself the same way in every place I am. To show up the same. Instead of compartmentalizing every part of my life. I realized that to live a life of integrity, I needed to be the same in every area. And that doesn’t mean I can’t decide to do something very firm when it needs to be firm and be very loving and soft when I need to do that. It doesn’t mean you can’t have different sides of your personality, but my core shows up instead of being fragmented, which I think we do all too often and don’t even catch ourselves until after the fact.

Faith

I would so agree with that. And that is having a strong element of integrity, of walking out who you really are in all ways of life no matter what the situation. And yes it, it’s not about how you express yourself, it’s about that what you express brings up the core of who you are and you live that out through everything that you do.

Lois

So we’re going to talk about that core today and it has a lot to do with loving yourself by the way, because the more you’re able to show that love to yourself, the more you’re able to express that love to another. So we’d like to offer some thanks here to www.livingyourtruestory.com and Robert Taibi’s post on six steps to leading a life of integrity on www.psychologytoday.com. They gave us a lot of food for thought here that we’re going to share with you. And they offer a few questions to consider as you’re thinking about living a life of integrity. And the first question to ask yourself is, who are you? And Faith. We’ve taken this very topic and expanded on it greatly in a number of workshops. We’ve done identity. It’s so important to knowing who we are and it relates to our integrity.

Faith

Exactly. It’s at the root as we have defined it so often of everything. And we tend to look too quickly at the fruit of who we are. So it’s what we were constantly going, how did I do? How did I do that? Well do I, did people approve? So we’re looking at what’s the result rather than you are rooted in who you really are. And we tend to ignore that. We’ve got to get to the core of that. Who are you really and who do you really want to be? Because when you know who you are and your friends can help you with this, your family can help you with this. Just ask them what are the qualities you see in me about who I am and start just start discovery of finding that out and when you know that now to move into integrity with that means you choose it. You choose to live from that place and when you choose to live from that place, then who you are begins to blossom into the fruit.

Lois

One of the things I love to do myself and with the people I work with is offer these strength assessments because as you start looking into character values and you take the test yourself and you answer it as honestly as you will, you find out wonderful traits about yourself, that you go, wow, I am grateful. I have a zest for life, I am spiritual. I’m thankful, I am courageous. I am, you name it. Whatever those traits are and then is, as you said, how do I choose to bring those traits, those strengths right out to the front while I’m moving in life. Those are signs of integrity that we can choose every single day.

Faith

And it changes everything in life changes how you will see others, how you will see yourself and how you will see your circumstances.

Lois

Because you take those and you translate those into your purpose and look for them in your goals so you don’t, you’re not floundering. There’s a weaving that goes through in your life and all of these pieces are part of that. A part of the whole.

Faith

There we go to the whole of who you really are. That’s right.

Lois

And then you know, one of the questions you can ask yourself is, is what you show up with in your work and life, a reflection of your inner life. In other words, what you’re showing to people are, is it stuff you’ve been working on on the inside and it’s coming out or do you keep your inner life very hidden because it’s secretive and it isn’t something you want to show and everything you’re doing is almost fake.

Faith

Yes. Who you are on the inside needs to be shown on the outside, which means vulnerability, risk and taking a chance to express more fully what’s going on. I had someone just yesterday come up to me and say, you know, Hey, how’s your week been? I had a moment time where I could say,. Oh, it’s just fine. It was good. It was busy. You know the norm. And I went, no, I’m going to say, you know, I’ve been on a journey and I gave a little bit of reflection and there was this interaction that went into relationship and so we can give kind of documentation of where we are in life to somebody kind of a data report or we can move into a relationship with somebody. It doesn’t mean sharing everything, but it means sharing something and that takes us into being more expressing integrity that we have within that we’re willing to share outside.

Lois

And it’s part of why it Faith and I are so in phatic about working on yourself, working on your core and every chance you get to learn more about yourself because we encourage you to stay committed to what you believe. Even if we don’t share the same beliefs, what you believe is important and how you live that out and how you express it, whether you defend it in your politics, in your faith, in your family traditions, all of those things. We want everyone to have beliefs that are important to them. But if you don’t explore and learn and dig a little bit into yourself, your inner life doesn’t even contain exactly who you are like that. Exactly. And that’s hard when then you come up with something and somebody asks you a question and you really don’t have an answer because you’ve never dug into, what do I think about this? Me, myself, right?

Faith

Yeah. You have to decide these things for yourself. And too often we’ve let other people decide things for us. And part of finding that integrity within ourselves is to honor our true self of what we think, what we believe, exactly what you said.

Lois

Well, having these choices that you refer to so wonderfully and your purpose and your intentions, they tell you who you are. And you know they help you create your character. And our character is something that we hopefully for most of us are designing and working on most of our lives. And we all know that our character can be dashed in a very short amount of time.

Faith

Without question, unless we really know who we are. And then it’s an opportunity for us to build and overcome any kind of thing that has hit it hard. And so when we step into the fullness of who we really are, then we can express that outwardly and nothing can shake that. We know that. We know that we know who we are. And so even disastrous things, circumstances or criticism from people are not going to rock us and break us down.

Lois

That is beautiful and that is integrity. That’s a character that withstands even some of this onslaught that can come from within and from without. So another question to ask yourself as you’re considering a life of integrity is what does it look like when you keep your agreements?

Faith

You’re good, you’re honest, you’re trustworthy, there’s all kinds of things that you are, and that’s what we celebrate is the fact that, wow, if can keep your agreements, you are going to be someone that people are going to look up to. Because too many times promises are broken. Commitment times are broken. Being late is a given and it’s so amazing how, whether it’s small or large, that is a key element of how important your agreements are. It says you have integrity.

Lois

Yes. I mean people decide whether they’re going to trust you or not and they do it because you keep an agreement or not. You’re someone who makes promises on a regular basis and doesn’t fulfill them. Then we get used to that, right? That he doesn’t mean it. She doesn’t mean it. I, I’ve watched it too many times before. And as you were talking earlier about what you want people to say about you after you pass, that’s the last thing I’d want. Oh they made a lot of promises and they didn’t keep any of it. That’s not something I would like to toast to that. I just like that. I mean that somebody might say but it’s really important that you don’t take this away from people too. Cause when you don’t keep your agreements, especially think about small children, you know you can shatter some dreams or some hopes, especially if it’s something that they were really looking forward to. So think really hard about what kinds of promises and commitments you make to people and agreements because I believe they have to be really serious and don’t make them haphazardly.

Faith

If you can’t keep them, maybe you really can’t keep this one. Have a good reason to let somebody know what has happened. When you keep your agreements, you are telling that person they have value and that’s what you always want to do is let the other person know. I respect you because you have value.

Lois

We are on episode 100 Transition: The impact of living with integrity and we have a few more beautiful items to share with you, but first we want to let you know about our new sponsor.

Faith

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Lois

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Faith

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Lois

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Faith

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Lois

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Faith

Where are we going?

Lois

We’re going on the life journey. Faith. And you’re not off this train. We’re on this for the long haul. I mean, it is about relationships. Absolutely. This is the beauty. I mean, we don’t do it in a vacuum. And so that’s the beauty about coming together because we, we have relationships that begin to thrive and that’s part of how we explore and express our integrity.

Faith

And when you have that integrity, there’s people that are drawn to you and you’re going to be taking more and more people with you because people see in you what they’re looking for. And so integrity is like a, a light in the darkness. So when you have it, you’re going to have more relationships.

Lois

Right? We get to encourage, we get to support. We get to uplift and build up. And if you’re living as your best self, you are so right, Faith, people will be drawn to that truth. It’s not phony. It’s not something you’re skimming off the top and just showing that isn’t a part of your inner self. It’s actually connected and you’re wholly presenting yourself.

Faith

Hmm. It’s beautiful. It is. It’s really cool. So another thing is where are you open to change? Hmm, that’s right, right? Because if you think you’ve already arrived or that you don’t need to change and everybody else needs to change and you’re just fine, there’s going to be a loss of integrity in that. We are on this crazy journey of life, which is an amazing journey. But it also demands that we are open to the constant influence of change in our lives. And if we’re not, then we’re going to stay where we were. And then it can begin to lose some of that beauty and wonder of integrity that we have because we get discouraged or we get angry or we feel frustrated and that’s where we begin to lose ourselves. Open to change. We’ll continually be open to finding ourselves.

Lois

Because that is the whole purpose of life is to keep learning, is to keep growing. And when we’re open to that, we, we read more, we connect, we go to seminars, we engage with people that we don’t normally engage with so that we will have yet another perspective. I mean, even in the 100 episodes we’ve had the privilege of bringing to you Faith and I have seen shifts through it, Oh, let’s move here. Let’s try this. Okay, that worked. Let’s move here. And so we’re constantly on a pivot and it’s beautiful because if we just stopped and said, no, we’re going to do it this way, the whole way through, one, we might have tired out and two, it wouldn’t be thriving like it is now because we, we looked at new things and said, let’s try this.

Faith

Right? We never got bored, never got bored.

Lois

And it doesn’t mean that everything you work is 100% right mark. The whole point of being open to change is to say, well, let me try this. That didn’t work. And that’s the best course correction for going in a in a different direction.

Faith

That’s how we learn and that’s how we learn more about ourselves as well.

Lois

So living a life of integrity connects you to yourself and once you’re connected to yourself as a whole person, you get to go just about anywhere. And that’s the thing that I think is so beautiful faith is that we as people of integrity, we get to express much larger and bigger in life.

Faith

And isn’t that good?This is so fun. Yeah to think about having more to life. Thank you. Living with integrity allows you to build health supportive relationships based on mutual trust and respect.

Lois

Taking the time to understand who you are and finding your purpose gives you clarity in your decisions and your actions reflect your inner work.

Faith

When you live with integrity, people will be attracted to your whole self. There are no limits.

Lois

Please share this podcast and join us next week for Transition. The Impact of Giving and Receiving.

Faith

Get the latest news on our social media platforms and on our website, and please subscribe.

Lois

More to Life with Faith and Lois is a podcast to support, encourage and uplift you.

Faith

As you transition through all sorts of change, we want you to know there is more to life.

Lois

We’ll be back next week.