Note: More to Life with Faith and Lois is designed to be heard, not read. We hope you’ll listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that won’t be on this page. Our transcripts are generated with speech recognition software and may contain errors. 

 

Lois 

Welcome to the podcast More to Life with Faith and Lois.

 

Faith 

I’m Faith.

 

Lois 

And I’m Lois.

 

Faith 

Our podcast explores the things you face in life that inspire and daunt you.

 

Lois 

Hi Faith.

 

Faith 

Good morning, Lois.

 

Lois 

Wow. You know, I was reminded how much kids throw their bodies into everything. Oh, don’t they, when they decide they need to do something, you know, when they just even crawl across the floor. It’s not just their faces that are in it or their words, but they’re just using every single part of their bodies. And that really helped me as I watched small children this last week as a result of our podcast on how your body kind of leads the way when you’re finding your voice.

 

Faith 

And they speak loud and clear, don’t they?

 

Lois 

It was really interesting to realize we used all do that and we got away from it from our body. So if you missed that podcast, you really don’t want to. It was so much fun. It’s on www.moretolifewithfaithandlois.com and it’s on our podcast platform. And we even send out a newsletter every week where we include our podcasts and we would love to have you on that. So go and subscribe on our website. We are really excited to move on with our theme about finding your voice asking you the question today. How does finding your voice influence spirituality?

 

Faith 

Oh wow, this is really important. Because we can either be way too verbal about our spirituality and do harm or we can be so stilled by fear at some level of not wanting to offend or not sure we should speak that we go silent. And neither one of those places it’s a good place to be because our spirituality and our spiritual growth and what is formulating and developing within us so important to be able to share with the world.

 

Lois 

It is really cool because We’re on a continuum of life. And so one of the things that some people think is if you have a view of spirituality, you know, right now, it will never change. Well, for me, that hasn’t been the case. And I’ve had a continuum where things have changed and shifted. And all along the way. I wanted to be able to express some of that. And so some things I may have said 20 years ago, changed 10 years ago and changed five years ago. It doesn’t mean the core of my spirituality changed, but certain ways of expressing that faith or that spiritual connection or contemplation change. But what I found that began to really influence how I wanted to express and find my voice in spirituality was that I didn’t need to convince you. Mm hmm. what it was that I believed that you then had to believe. And I think growing up in the kind of family that I did, that was one of the tenants was that when we shared, we were bringing people alongside and I’m not even saying that’s, that may be how you live If I realized for me now, I am really much more willing to share without the consequence of if you agree or disagree, where before I felt that you had to agree with me, or there might be, you know, consequence that was not positive. Now I realized that I am called to share I am called to express and how you receive it is up to you.

 

Faith 

And that’s so freeing. I call it seed planting, spiritual seed planting. And so oftentimes, that’s what we’re meant to do in our life is just to plant seeds of goodness of life of hope of truth. And they fall where they may, and then we leave it up to other people, other situations, circumstances of life, to grow those seeds or destroy them, but that’s kind of up to the person.

 

Lois 

And it’s how we live. Yeah. And it’s how we breathe, and it’s how we practice and it’s how we hang out and it’s how we treat my whole self. And so I’ve tried to take that in and if You want to be in the way you’re living? That’s great too. And I love you right where you are. And so I think that’s the biggest shift that’s happened for me in spirituality. So we are so excited to step into this place of finding our voice as it relates to spirituality. And here are some great articles you may want to check out. One is by Ellen Devonport. It’s called, “Speaking up spiritually-how and when” on www.patheos.com. And Bev Janish who wrote a really cool article, “10 signs Your soul is speaking to you,” on www.bevjanish.com. So if you want to speak out more openly on matters of your spirituality, here are a few things that might help you clear the way to do that.

 

Faith 

One is to check your intentions. Why are you doing this? What is the motivation for wanting to share what you’re feeling experiencing your growth, your development, and what do you hope the outcome is in sharing

 

Lois 

Yeah, I mean, do you want to heal? Do you want to inform? Or are you looking to clobber somebody over the head? And I think those are the kinds of things to check out, you know, when we, when we want to share spiritual items, this almost seems so much more necessary, Faith, I’ve watched for myself that I really consider what my intention is. Because the path to opening a connection with somebody and sharing that means that I have to be open myself.

 

Faith 

Exactly. So when I’m sharing things that have impacted me spiritual or my spiritual growth and development within, I’m sharing it from a place of really sharing my heart with those that I entrusted to. So it deepens the relationship I have with people when I share it. The second piece is is that if I have an insight, I hold those close to myself, until there’s a time and an opening that is offered to me with someone where I go Ah, That nugget might be helpful not to convince them, they have to do it. But I usually approach it with, you know, here’s something I discovered. I don’t know if this would be helpful or not, but you might have you considered or have you thought about, and then I offer it to them. That is oftentimes where they receive it. And so the things that we encounter in our own lives are meant to be shared, but at the right time,

 

Lois 

May I share this with you is one of the most healing phrases that I have learned. And it’s this way of communicating with people that doesn’t force them into a situation they don’t want to be and, and you’re asking permission, which is really beautiful, because we are sharing something that you just said is very moving has had a big significant shift for us in our lives. And we want to bring some people into our circle in a sense of saying this is really important, but it’s difficult to do that when we have built up the trust, right? So that’s why we’re saying check your intentions. And you know, maybe ask for permission, is this a good time?

 

Faith 

And stop over anticipating arguments? That’s really important. I mean, yes, anytime we become really, really vulnerable about something that is a treasure about ourselves within ourselves, and we know somebody might not see it the same way. We anticipate, oh, this is going to be conflictual. We’re going to get into an argument, there’s going to be something that happens and it doesn’t need to be. I think it’s been wise and discerning. You know, we’ve talked a lot about the holiday dinner table of bringing up the hot issues. Why would you do that? Why would you bring up a hot issue about anything that is going to create turmoil at that point, or if it is brought up? How can you be the voice in that, that brings it down, because you care about everybody there? Well, that’s holds true on an ongoing basis. be discerning, be thoughtful about avoiding those kinds of arguments. Again, it’s back to you. They don’t have to see it your way.

 

Lois 

Right? And if you’re asking for the permission, right, and it’s you’re offering a perspective, based on something you’ve really gleaned, or learned or read or have been through, then they can then hear that you’re just sharing what you went through, not telling them that they must do the same, or they will not have great a great life, which I think is the biggest fear. And so I’ve started to realize that most people aren’t sitting around watching for Oh, if Lois says this, I’m going to oppose her here. And that’s been so freeing because then I can share and if you disagree with me, I have now learned to say that’s okay. Because if I’m, if I’m in the mode of you really need to accept what I’m saying to you. That’s the message I convey. And that’s oftentimes why I held myself back because I really wasn’t ready to share without that intention of you get to accept it or reject it, it’s right. It’s really good. Leave it if you have to.

 

Faith 

And then there’s a timing is everything, right? Man, we can jump in way too soon. And it’s more about really hearing where that other person is, and not having the answer. You know, so many times people use their spirituality as I have the answer. Yes. Rather than that is not what another person may need to hear in the moment they need to hear, do you understand? Do you care? Are you sensitive to me? And, and so the timing of that is really important. So sharing something spiritually and meaningful to you when a friend is grieving or a major loss by you have to be sensitive, it’s about them in the moment, right? It’s not about what you see or what you need to say. It is about them. And that being sensitive to those kinds of situations is vital.

 

Lois 

And that’s why this timing thing, it’s when you are in conversation in relationship with someone else, you know, those things are coming up, you’re paying attention to that. So maybe you did come into the conversation hoping to share some amazing experience that happened to you over the weekend. But you can see that there is a shift in this person with something that’s going on. You’re so right Faith in that moment. It’s our place, my place to listen. And if whatever I went through might be of assistance. May I share this with you? And it really is something that would be beneficial, awesome, but it also may be only the time to listen.

 

Faith 

Oh, absolutely. That’s deep spirituality is when you can be attuned to the other person. It is a reflection of your own spiritual development and growth.

 

Lois 

Because it’s not about us anymore, right, trying to tell somebody something then also stepping out of religious concepts into the spiritual relationship that is developing within you.

 

Faith 

I think this is so important. We carry forward things we’ve come to believe, which are good. There’s nothing wrong with your beliefs or your convictions and, and you adhere to those, but how you express them, and how you implement them in other people’s lives as well as your own has to do with being more caring and more gentle and more patient about everything we’re talking about here, the timing, and not just coming across as I have the answer. And here’s the answer. It’s not about the answer. It is about the relationship in the relationship than spirituality is there’s a connection, and that’s a good thing.

 

Lois 

Especially in spiritual matters when you’re talking to somebody who may not share your same perspective the the jumping in Without them, trusting you and knowing that you have their back, the more that you have demonstrated love in a way that they could understand. That’s the piece about showing up and sharing your life and having that body language that actually shows you really care about them, instead of just these spiritual concepts, excuse me religious concepts that you’re trying to make sure they get and get them in the right order. Because it has to be done this way. That can just defeat so much and and most of us as we’re talking to you, you’re not in that place, but be careful of it, because it can creep back in if it was an old habit that you’ve had. And so if you are able to work through and use this spiritual relationship that you’re developing to just be able to share from that journey place, then you become inquisitive. You care about the person, and when they hear that they’re most likely ready to hear some more spiritual truth that you may want to share.

 

Faith  

Yes, As I just said that the deep spiritual connection is when you have the deep spiritual connection to the person, not to the agenda. The agenda will undercut relationship every time. And I’ve had clients who have come to me who have been somewhat cautious about coming to me, because they’ve heard me know about my own faith, and but within a half hour or so they’re going you’re the person I want to work with. And it’s not because I’m hitting them with anything I’m engaged in with them. The connection is being made with them. I’m seeing them, I’m hearing them, it is about the person. And that opens up a whole new avenue of discovery, and eventually even their own spirituality as they continue to grow.

 

Lois 

So we are talking about how does finding your voice influence spirituality, and we want to take a bit of a turn here because, you know, maybe you’ve got this deep yearning and you’re wondering about what’s going on what’s churning inside of you? Is this kind of a spiritual revival? Or is it something that Bev Janish describes as the silent epidemic of soul hunger, and what she’s meaning by that is living in alignment with your soul or your spirit or your core. And she has a couple of things that you’ll know you are there, that you’re on this path when, when maybe you realize that many of the material things in your life aren’t satisfying anymore.

 

Faith 

That is really true. These are really good points that she addresses because these are all little cues, little knocks on the door. Don’t ignore them, begin to listen, what is going on inside of me. Another one is you want to make a difference to minimize suffering in the world.

 

Lois 

Boy, and you pick up on this because of either a story you’ve read, or a trip to the grocery store, or something happens in your neighborhood and you want to make a difference and a real difference. You don’t just say I Want to you actually go and do something about it? That’s the birthing. That’s the beginning of some spiritual awakening that is starting to take place. And it’s very exciting.

 

Faith 

It is very exciting. Or you have a feeling that something needs to be expressed through you that pulse anything like something’s happening, I’m not quite sure what it is. I don’t know what this means. It’s kind of the seeker awakening insight that is emerging that is there more. Is there something that I haven’t yet seen or fully understood? Don’t ignore that nudge?

 

Lois 

It sounds so much like waking up. I know I love it, you know, because you begin asking, Who am I? And what is my purpose and and faith and I have talked for years about identity and the identity from the roots all the way to where you flourish and following your whole cycle of where you grow. But when you’re asking these questions, who am I and what is my purpose? As you know that there is a stirring that’s going on that’s leading you to this place where you actually want to find a voice that will influence your own spirituality and possibly those around you.

 

Faith 

Mm hmm. And that ache and that hunger for that authentic relationship that I really want to be known. And I really want to know someone else. And that may be in in your marriage. And if that isn’t happening, or in the partnership that you have, with your spouse or significant other, then it may be the time that I want more. And that’s where you go and you seek more help maybe to enhance that relationship. But that is also true of aching for a friend who will really kind of I use the phrase because someone did this and many, many years ago, it was an author. And my comment was, oh my gosh, I feel like this person just opened up my chest and walked in and crawled around my soul. Because there was such a connection of you get it? Oh my goodness, this is what I’ve been sensing inside. And it was a turning point for my spirituality to awaken and blossom and to grow at a much more accelerated rate than it ever had before. Because this author had connected to what I was experiencing

 

Lois 

That is so powerful. Maybe you’re curious about deepening your connection with something greater than yourself. I think I’ve expressed that one of the reasons I do have a faith tradition is because I never have felt that it ended with me. I I’ve always thought that was too much responsibility. Now I have a great deal of responsibility and how I respond and how I act towards you toward faith toward anyone in my life is my business and I need to do that and do it well, and love well, and yet at the same time, I know it’s not all up to me that there’s something bigger and and you may call it a force, you may call it energy, I refer to it as God and so whatever your positioning is on that, that I realize there’s something bigger than me that I’m not in charge and that I actually want a bigger connection. I want a relationship that’s deeper so that I can share what that looks like.

 

Faith 

That’s really good. When you want to live in alignment with your true self Hmm, that’s a good cue. You’re going I think I’ve been living out of my false self for too far too long. I don’t like the fakeness I don’t like this cover up. I don’t like having to avoid or please or whatever it might be that we fall into. You want to live more, just significantly your true self and let it be just been instead of doing all these things are nudges. Something is stirring, something is awakening. Now what are you gonna do about it?

 

Lois 

What’s so cool is we don’t really know what this looks like. We don’t know sometimes what it looks like for ourselves what it looks like for somebody else but you know that you’re that the work is beginning or it’s it’s underway and it’s been going on for a while. Time and you’re looking for a new way to express. And that’s why sometimes if you revisit a number of these areas, you’ll find that you actually are able to use your voice to have a more spiritual context. You know, and, and maybe you’ve been unable to feel comforted in your spirituality, because of what you have been through or learn in your church or your synagogue, or mosque or your gathering. But there is more to grasp and learn and live by, don’t stop there. I mean, one thing closes, there’s so many more options to keep looking. And if you’re, if these things are stirring inside of you, maybe you’ll choose a spiritual director. Or maybe you’ll find a wisdom tradition or hang out with people in a community. And it might be in a church or a synagogue, or a mosque or a gathering in a place that now meets you where you are in an in a way that for some reason you didn’t have in the past.

 

Faith 

And that’s the whole thing is let it awaken and then find your way. Don’t ignore it. But just follow instinctually what feels right to you in that moment and then take the next step and the next step. And now you’re on a spiritual path of spiritual development.

 

Lois 

And we’d love to hear how you are sharing your journey of spirituality and how it’s being received. Please let us know.

 

Faith 

You will know when the time is right to share from your heart about your spiritual journey.

 

Lois 

It’s that longing in the core of your being to live life authentically and connect with something greater than yourself.

 

Faith 

Trust your instincts and share your journey with no expectations. And please share this podcast.

 

Lois 

Join us next week as we wonder how do you use your voice in your craft?

 

Faith 

Sign up for our weekly newsletter on our website and subscribe to our podcast wherever you listen.

 

Lois 

No matter what you face in relationships, your body, spirituality or your craft.

 

Faith 

We are here to assure you there is always more to life.

 

Lois 

We’ll be back next week.